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Funny Picture Of The Day!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Funny Christmas Jokes, Reindeer Christmas Jokes

And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
These jokes will sleigh you!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was "elf"-taught!

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don't feed it !

How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the "deer"-bell!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!

How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Just long enough to reach the ground !

How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back!

And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first

I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sardar Jokes, Sheikh Jokes, Funny Sardar SMS, Sheikh SMS

Ik sheikh doctor ky pass gya or bola
Kh ghar ja kr mareez check karny ky kitny paisy lo gy?
Doctor:300 Rupees
Sheikh: Chlain doctor sahb.
Ghar pounchy to docor ny pocha kh mareez kahan hy?
Sheikh: mareez koi ni hy,
Taxi wala 500 mang raha tha


Sardar: main ny khat likha tha kh mari shadi pr zaroor ana, tum q nahi aye?

2nd Sardar: Mujhe khat mila he ni

1st Sardar: main ny likha tha kh khat mily ya na mily tum zaroor aana.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Halloween Skeleton Jokes, Halloween Jokes, Funny Skeleton Jokes, Bone Jokes For Halloween

Check out these funny halloween skeleton jokes and laugh out loudly :)

When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.

Why don't skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetite !

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

What is a young skeleton?
A skeleteen

What do skeletons like to eat?
Ribs

Which skeleton is a famous comedian from yesteryear?
Red Skeleton

What do you call a stupid skeleton?
A numbskull

What is a skeleton's favorite insult?
The word 'Bonehead'

How does a skeleton get into his house?
With a skeleton key

What do skeletons have nightmares of?
Dogs

What forms of major education do skeletons attend?
High Skull

What did the skeleton get for killing a ghost?
2000 Bone-us points

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Halloween Jokes, Halloween Pranks, Halloween Fun, Halloween Humor

Halloween jokes are must on the eve of Halloween. Have fun with these funny Halloween jokes. Check these short Halloween jokes, Halloween pranks, halloween fun and halloween humor here. Check more halloween jokes here.

What does a hungry ghost want?
Ice scream!

What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!

What was written on the hypochondriac's tombstone?
"I told you I was ill"!

Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
Because he wasn't very hungry.

What do monsters call human beings?
Breakfast, lunch and dinner!

How do you make a witch itch?
Take away her w!

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he had no guts!

What runs around a cemetery but doesn't move?
A fence!

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!

What does a witch ask for when she goes to a hotel?
Broom service!

Where do ghosts pick up their mail?
At the ghost office!

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock ?
He got ticks !

Why are graveyards so noisy ?
Because of all the coffin !

Why did the witch travel on a broom?
She couldn't afford a Vacuum Cleaner.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend!

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they
drove down the street?
Buckle your sheet belt!

Why do you always find ghouls and demons together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin!

What did one vampire say to the other?
Fangs aren’t what they used to be!

What do you call a vampire that’s always feeling peckish?
Snackula!

When do werewolves go trick or treating?
Howl-oween!

What should a short-sighted ghost have?
Spooktacles!

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in people?

What do you call an angry monster?
Sir!

Why is Dracula so unpopular?
Because he’s a pain in the neck!

Why did the skeleton go the party?
For a rattling good time!

Who has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Quackula!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Thumping.
Thumping who?
Thumping green and scary just crawled up your trousers!

Who comes out at night and goes “Munch, munch, ouch!”
A vampire with a rotten tooth!

How do monsters count to 13?
On their fingers!

Where do ghosts go the day before Halloween?
To the boo-ty parlor!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Diwali Jokes, Happy Diwali 2008, Diwali Fun, Diwali Greetings

May this Diwali be as bright as ever. May this Diwali bring joy, health and wealth to you. May the festival of lights brighten up you and your near and dear ones lives May this Diwali bring in u the most brightest and choicest happiness and love you have ever Wished for. May this Diwali bring you the utmost in peace and prosperity. May lights triumph over darkness. May peace transcend the earth. May the spirit of light illuminate the world. May the light that we celebrate at Diwali show us the way and lead us together on the path of peace and social harmony “WISH U A VERY HAPPY DIWALI”.

Laugh with this funny Diwali Joke and share this funny joke to your friends and family.


Diwali Gambling


On the eve of Diwali a blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?"

The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?"

"Yes."

"Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me."

"Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an eight.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hindi Jokes - Very Funny Hindi Jokes

two pigs are eating potty

pig 1 : yaar hum duniya bhar ki potty khate hai........ koi hamari bhi potty khata hoga kya??

Pig 2 : abey salley khate waqt to aisi baat mat kiya kar !!!!!!!!!

Tags - Hindi Jokes, Funny Jokes, Pig Jokes

Monday, April 14, 2008

Funny Laloo Prasad Yadav Jokes, Political Jokes,Indian Jokes,Hindi Jokes

Check out this funny laloo joke and have fun with this hilarious joke on celebrity laloo.
Laloo Yadav's car is driving along a back country road on the way back
to Patna , when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of the car...

The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur to
go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages...

The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a
bag full of money, and a wondering look on his face. Laloo wants to
know what happened.

The driver tells him "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log
ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua hai,tab sare
log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee.Par hum
dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye sara
piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa
hamein de diya, aur kaha "bahut achchha kaam kiya hai re bhaiya"

Laloo says "Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek bata. Tu unko kya bola tha? "

The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur
hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon"

Monday, March 31, 2008

April Fools Jokes, April Fools Day Pranks

Hey, it's April Fools' Day! The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes on friends and neighbors. Being little naughty, playing a prank, cracking a joke on someone, confusing people with jokes, riddles and brain-teasers. Everything’s fair when it comes down to April Fools' Day ! Have a day filled with lots of laughter and smiles as you wish all you know a Happy April Fools' Day.


Rig the Sprayer


Put a rubber band around the push button of the spray nozzle (the kind with a hose) so the button stays down. Point it forward. When the victim uses the sink they will get a wet surprise!


Drippy


Use a pin to make a few small holes in a plastic disposable cup. Offer a drink to the victim and watch while the liquid dribbles out onto their shirt.


Forgetful


Tape magnets to the bottom of an empty coffee cup, and attach it to the top of your car. Laugh at all the people who frantically try to get your attention as you drive by.


Big Winner

Some of the best April Fool's pranks take a bit of pre-planning. Buy a lottery ticket and give it to the victim on March 31. The next day go out early and buy another ticket with the exact same numbers as the WINNING numbers from the day before. Put this ticket in the place of the ticket from the day before. Wait for them to check the numbers in the paper. They probably won’t notice the different date, and will think they just became a millionaire!

Early Bird

Set the victim’s alarm clock for the middle of the night and hide it somewhere in the room where they will have to get up and scramble around to turn it off. (This works even better if you sneak in after they go to sleep and unscrew the light bulb in their lamp. Then they’ll have to search for the clock in the dark!)

Do the Splits

Find a scrap of cloth. Place a dollar on the floor and stay nearby. When the victim comes by and bends down to pick up the dollar, rip the cloth loudly. Most people will reach back to see if they ripped their pants. One of the original classic April Fool's pranks of all time!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

JokesPrank.com-funny jokes and funny pranks

JokesPrank.com-funny jokes and funny pranks

jokesprank.com — JokesPrank.com offers you varieties of blonde jokes,Yo mama jokes, clean jokes, black jokes, sardar jokes, Santa Banta jokes, Indian jokes, birthday jokes, redneck jokes, kids jokes, sms jokes, hilarious jokes, prank calls, funny pranks, good pranks and many more free funny stuff for your entertainment and laughter.

http://www.jokesprank.com



Friday, February 15, 2008

Very Funny Jokes-Sardar Jokes

This interesting post addresses some of the key issues regarding funny Sardar Jokes. A careful reading of this material could make a big difference in how you think about funny Sardar Jokes.LOL

It's really a good idea to probe a little deeper into the subject of funny Sardar Jokes and laugh loudly reading these very funny jokes, sardar jokes,indian jokes.

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..


Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10


Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....


A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

If you apply what you've just read about funny Sardar Jokes, you can make your friends laugh.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentines day Funny Jokes-Osama's Valentine

Send some funny valentines day jokes to your valentine on the eve of Valentine's day to make your valentine laugh. this is a clean sweet valentine's day jokes that can make your valentine smile. Happy Valentine's Day!

Osama's Valentine

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," David says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock.

"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride.

"David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him."

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Funny Pranks-Push Or Pull Door Pranks

Tags-Push or Pull Pranks, funny pranks,classroom pranks,door pranks

Print out some signs that read, "Push" and "Pull" and tape them to doors at your local stores or classroom or office door or hotel room door. Make sure to place them on the wrong side. Then sit back and watch as people push when they are instructed to pull and vise versa and laugh on the funny site.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Funniest Jokes-What is politics?

This is the funniest jokes on politics that I have come across recently.This funny jokes has a great inner meaning too. Hope you all will also like this very funny jokes on politics.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh*t."

Hopefully the sections above have contributed to your understanding of funniest jokes. Share your new understanding about funniest jokes with others. They'll sure laugh.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Definition of Jokes from Wikipedia

A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. These jokes will normally have a punch line that will end the sentence to make it humorous. A joke can also be a single phrase or statement, such as with sarcasm. Joke can also be used as a slang term for a person or thing which is not taken seriously by others in general or is known as being a failure. A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken one in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl). Joke Ex.: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: A FSH

Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat".

Clean Jokes-Fishing License

Fishing License
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

Clean Jokes-shoes hunt by blonde

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

laughing jokes-Grand Ma eats chocolate

EAT CHOCOLATE
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only s*ck the chocolate off 'em."
Tags-funny grandma jokes, laughing jokes

Saturday, January 26, 2008

funny marriage jokes

Tags-funny marriage jokes,husband jokes, wife jokes
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know,I was a fool when I married you.”The wife replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.“A billionaire.” she replied.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Life jokes-girl jokes for boys

This funny jokes has been taken from the "jokediary.com". This is no doubt a funny joke.

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big t*ts.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with big t*ts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big t*ts.

Friday, January 18, 2008

valentines day funny jokes

I just had a dream about it

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Another funny blonde joke!

Because I'm Blonde?

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."

blonde painting jokes

Blonde Painter

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

funny jokes-ice cream cone

An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"

One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer.

Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one -- the one that the farmer shot."

The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."

"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly s*cks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then s*cks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?"

After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and s*cks out the inside."

Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong -- it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Business jokes - funny jokes

Murphy applied for an engineering position ...

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.

Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job"

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"

Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Santa Banta Joke-Jurassic Park

Tags: Funny Jokes, Santa banta joke,humor joke,santa singh, banta singh, india jokes

Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat.
Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, "Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai." (Why, what`s the matter? Why are you afraid? It s only a film.)
Banta replied, "AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!" (I am human and have a mind, I know it s a film...but that is an animal, what does it know!)

Santa Banta Jokes

Tags: Santa Banta Jokes, Funny Jokes, Wife Jokes, Sardar Jokes

Santa thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and, also, their anniversary.

He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to Jeetoo on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

Jeeto was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when Santa came home, kissed her and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, where'd you get them?"

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