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Funny Picture Of The Day!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

laughing jokes-Grand Ma eats chocolate

EAT CHOCOLATE
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only s*ck the chocolate off 'em."
Tags-funny grandma jokes, laughing jokes

Saturday, January 26, 2008

funny marriage jokes

Tags-funny marriage jokes,husband jokes, wife jokes
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know,I was a fool when I married you.”The wife replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.“A billionaire.” she replied.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Life jokes-girl jokes for boys

This funny jokes has been taken from the "jokediary.com". This is no doubt a funny joke.

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big t*ts.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with big t*ts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big t*ts.

Friday, January 18, 2008

valentines day funny jokes

I just had a dream about it

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Another funny blonde joke!

Because I'm Blonde?

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."

blonde painting jokes

Blonde Painter

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

funny jokes-ice cream cone

An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"

One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer.

Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one -- the one that the farmer shot."

The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."

"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly s*cks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then s*cks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?"

After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and s*cks out the inside."

Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong -- it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Business jokes - funny jokes

Murphy applied for an engineering position ...

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.

Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job"

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"

Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Santa Banta Joke-Jurassic Park

Tags: Funny Jokes, Santa banta joke,humor joke,santa singh, banta singh, india jokes

Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat.
Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, "Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai." (Why, what`s the matter? Why are you afraid? It s only a film.)
Banta replied, "AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!" (I am human and have a mind, I know it s a film...but that is an animal, what does it know!)

Santa Banta Jokes

Tags: Santa Banta Jokes, Funny Jokes, Wife Jokes, Sardar Jokes

Santa thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and, also, their anniversary.

He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to Jeetoo on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

Jeeto was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when Santa came home, kissed her and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, where'd you get them?"

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