Cool funny jokes - Tattoos

Tattoos
A girl falls in love with a sailor and has his picture tattooed on her right breast. After a
few months the romance waned. She then meets a soldier and has his picture tattooed
on her left breast, again after a few months the romance waned.
A year later, she fell in love with a marine and married him. That night when they were
undressing for bed he began to laugh.
"What’s so funny?" asks the girl.
"I’m just thinking I’m the luckiest man alive,” says the marine, “and in a few years those
guys are going to have very long faces."

Funny jokes : what men really mean

What Men Really Mean.

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work."
Really means...
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."

"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

Funny Adult Jokes, Funny Jokes, Sports Car and The Young Girl With Boyfriend

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.
'If I do 250 kph, will you take off your clothes?' he smirked.
'Yes,' said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 250, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
'Go and get help!' he cried.
'But I can't! I'm naked and my clothes are gone!'
'Take my shoe' he said 'and cover yourself.'
Holding the shoe over her privates, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, 'Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!'
The proprietor looked at the shoe and faintedRead More Jokes Here
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Funny Picture Ducklings Loop

Check out this funny picture - duckling Loop. Sure you'll laugh. It's funny.

Ajit Jokes

* AJIT : Mujhe srif teen chesa pasand hai . Mona( his girlfriend), sona and Mona ki
saath sona !


* Once Mona and Robert( Ajit' righthand) got marrird. After one year, Mona gave birth a
baby. On thier request, Ajit named the baby Jack. Next year, Mona gave birth another
baby and Ajit named it Harry. After two year, Mona gave birth a third one. When Ajit
was asked to give a name, he said Lee Chen. Everybody was surprised. Ajit explained:
every third baby that is born on earth is a Chineese!

* Sites to look for: SMS-FUN

Miscellaneous Jokes

Why do young people want to become a doctor ?

Because it is the only profession where you can ask a woman to take off her clothes and ask
her husband to pay for it !

Funny Christmas Jokes, Reindeer Christmas Jokes

And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
These jokes will sleigh you!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was "elf"-taught!

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don't feed it !

How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the "deer"-bell!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!

How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Just long enough to reach the ground !

How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back!

And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first

I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?